Home Pharos Fiction Site Map Updates Search



Halexandria Foundation
Sacred Mathematics
Connective Physics
Chronicles of Earth
Justice, Order, and Law
Extraterrestrial Life
Creating Reality
Tree of Life

Cats, Dogs, and Other Deities

New Page -- 2 February 2004


It's amazing how much flack an extended website can receive by virtue of not having a webpage devoted to cats, dogs, and other pets... Okay! Okay... Deities.

In recognition of this unexpected development, and in order to cover all the bases -- just in case the world really is run by the white mice in an elaborate experiment using the entire earth as a bio computer (as in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy five book trilogy) -- the following is offered as a token of our esteem for all the furry and not-so-furry creatures cavorting about in our lives.

[The latter includes the infamous: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't so fuzzy was he?]

Take, for example, cats. All cats were allegedly born under the sign of Leo, and have what is generously referred to as "cattitude". This arrogance explains astrologically why they are prone to make the automatic assumption that they are royalty, and thus allowed to rest in a prone position most of the time -- sleeping or resting in their unique, Seven Best Sleeping Positions. The fact that cats have been revered by many humans throughout history is simply an indication of the level to which humans have occasionally ascended in their enlightenment. For example,“The ancient Egyptians were the first to domesticate cats, which they regarded as sacred.” [1] One wonders what the white mice thought about that development!


The high esteem in which cats have been held for the last three or four thousand years (of which we know about) is not without a basis in modern science. Just one of the possible reasons for thinking of cats as... well... the cat's meow... is their purring. Cats purr when they are content, give birth, and when they are under stress, caged, or severely injured. If purring expends energy -- as it seems likely it must -- then it would appear that there is a deeper reason for a cat's purr.

According to Stephen St Claire, the dominant frequencies for three species of cats' purrs was exactly 25 or 50 Hertz. This applies to both domestic and wild cars (albeit the Cheetah didn't have the dominant frequency at 50 Hertz). These frequencies correspond to the most effective frequencies for promoting bone growth and repair -- as reported by Dr. David Williams in an issue of Alternatives for the Health-Conscious Individual. These frequencies stimulate bone growth, decrease swelling and joint pain, and increase the production of the body's natural anti-inflammatory compounds.

St Claire goes on to note an even more astounding ability of cats to quite literally land on their feet by routinely surviving and completely recovering from falls that would kill most animals (including humans). On the basis of a survey in the late 1980s (based on reports from vets... as opposed to intentionally dropping the cats), 132 cats fell from an average of 5.5 stories but with only about one third requiring emergency treatment, another third non-emergency treatment, and one third no treatment at all. St Claire notes that the highest recorded fall survived by a cat was 45 stories! Apparently, the adage of a cat having nine lives has a scientific, experiential basis. [2]

Purring may be one of the reasons for cats' high fall records. If the cats' purr has the frequency to heal bones, muscles, and ligaments -- “If you put a cat and a bunch of broken bones in the same room, the bones will heal” -- then obviously dropping thirty or forty feet to the pavement should be pretty much routine. But there have also been reports of humans stopping their own migraine headaches by lying down with a purring cat next to their head. There is even some evidence that the cats' purr frequency can be increased up to 140 Hertz, which may be a fine tuning of the healing ability. [2] Lying with cats has somewhat more appeal with such possibilities in mind. Possibly Daniel entered the Lion's Den for an alternative healing session or just to rid himself of a pesky headache.

The Down Side

Cats are also known to be ever-so-slightly independent, picky enough to make a Virgo shiver, and sufficiently self-directed as to never do what any other living entity -- including other deities -- might want. The expression “never try to herd cats” is equivalent to “don't push the river” and “Never antagonize the uncaged gorilla.” The classic example of cats determining their own destiny -- even when a human may have the cat's best interests at heart -- is in the classic “How to Give a Cat a Pill.”

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

4) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from yard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

5) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

6) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with desert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

7) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap. Tie tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it! Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

8) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

P. S. How to Give a Dog a Pill

1) Wrap it in bacon.

Speaking of which...


All dogs were probably born under the sign of Virgo, in that they're really into service. They certainly qualify as man's (and woman's*) best friend. Part of the reason for this is that dogs are often treated as family members and human surrogates. This goes to the point that many people claim they get more support from their dogs than their spouses or parents. [3]

Many people talk about the unconditional love of dogs for their masters, but as Charles Krauthammer [4] notes, “Unbridled is more like it.” One of Charlie's dogs, for example, “dispensed affection as unreflectively as he breathed, was always at [Charlie's] foot or hand waiting to be petted, stroked, played with or talked to. “He's the only dog I ever saw kiss a cat.” We're talking major league affectionate here!

Such affection is often returned. Some dogs, as reported by Joel Stein [5] receive $190 designer sherling coats, regular massages and manicures, PetBrellas, $30/pound organic beef patties, along with an estimated $31 billion dollars a year for other pet purchases. Dogs are also taken to dog singles mixers and spas complete with pools, dressed in Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Burberry dog jewelry, outfits and bags, and regularly show up on magazine covers with stars such as Renee Zellweger, Sarah Michelle Geller and Drew Barrymore. Dogs have even become a status symbol for the elite. [Cats would be furious about this if it were not beneath their dignity to even notice.]

Status wise, specific breeds can be important. As a species, dogs run the gamut, ranging in height at the shoulder from about 4 to 6 inches (Chihuahuas and some miniature terriers) to 32 inches (Irish Wolfhound). There are 420 known dog breeds spread amongst a 400 million population. This as compared to 400,000 known wolves in the world. Labrador retrievers number 165,790 which are registered in the U.S. (the most of any breeds, with only 35 Otterhounds registered (the fewest). The Saluki, the oldest known breed is believed to have emerged around 329. B.C.E. -- about the time of Alexander the Great. [6]

Different dog breeds display vast differences in behavior. By example, there is the age old question of How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? The answers:

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Maltese: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle: I'll blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still potty on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is. There it is, right there.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.z..z.z..z..z..z.

CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.

Meanwhile, back at the pound...

The ancestral line of dogs includes obviously the wolf. The Asian wolf, for example, is believed to have left quite a litter [6]-- including the Siberian Husky, the Australian Shepherd, China's Shar-Pei, the Boston Terrier, Mexican Chihuahua, Argentine Mastiff, Swiss Saint Bernard, and German Blue Great Dane. [Now that's a wolf that gets around!] Further up the line from wolves (jackels, foxes, and hyenas) is believed to be the Leptocyon (circa 12 million years ago), the Tomarctus (c. 19 million B.C.E.), the Hesperocyon (38 to 26 million years ago), and the Miacis (54 to 38 million years ago).

Cats and Dogs

Cats and Dogs are reputed to not always get along. This may be due in part to the fact that they are fundamentally different. [It has been noted for example that Tigers and Men often do not get along.] From a health perspective, one study of 31,484 dogs and 15,226 cats [7] indicated that while lameness and disc disease -- even arthritis -- were among the top dog problems, cats suffered from kidney and bladder problems with no mention of bone, arthritis, or joint problems.

”Hip dysphasia, arthritis, and ligament and muscle damage are all common to dogs, but almost non-existent in cats. Even myeloma, a cancerous tumor in bone marrow, is practically unheard of in cats, yet quite common in dogs.”

Cat's bones heal much faster than dogs, while bone cancer is common in dogs and extremely rare in cats. It's that purring thing again. The question is whether or not the purring can mend human bones.

There is scientific evidence that “pets may also offer their owners significant health benefits and may even add years to a person's life.” [8] One study of people 65 and older found that subjects with pets visited the doctor 16% less than petless participants. “Interaction with pets may minimize or even reverse some of the damaging cell changes that occur naturally with aging.” Biochemical stressors are being counteracted by something as simple as exposure to an animal -- especially one which does not laugh at your private parts. Incredibly, there is the possibility that a robo-animal might be able to lighten the mood and improve health as well.

Other Deities

It is now becoming apparent that animals of the same species living in distinct groupings have their own cultures -- or more accurately, “traditions that qualify as cultural variations.” [9] “Bowerbird huts, humpback fishing rituals and a potato-washing ritual passed down through generations of macaques reflect ingenuity and cultural tradition.” The behaviors range from fishing techniques to greetings to manner of eating, courtship rituals, and performing rain dances. Much of the common characteristics are passed from mother to offspring, or from the group to interested watches -- the latter a distinct form of ‘social learning'. Sweet potato washing by one 18-month-old macaque quickly rubbed off on playmates, but those hanging with different groups failed to pick up on the new technique.

In Robbin's Diet for a Small Planet there is even the story of a chicken which hatched the eggs of a mother duck who had failed to survive long enough to nurture her brood. Incredibly, after hatching the ducklings, the chicken then taught the ducklings how to grub for food in a distinctly duck way (and different from a chicken's method), and even took then to a nearby ditch, where the chicken from the vantage of a board across the water ditch, encouraged her adopted brood to swim. Chickens don't swim!

Animals in general are often under-rated in terms of intelligence, and considering their relative physical prowess with humans, it becomes ever more easy to understand why so many animals have been worshipped by human civilizations. And while there have been all manner of alleged scientific reasons for humans revering the animals, most of these explanations are obtuse and quite possibly miss the essential point.

Humans have always admired and honored physical strength. This is undoubtedly because, initially, the stronger humans survived. The stronger got the best food, the choice of mates, and ultimately the best seats at the opera. Physical strength, pure and simple, was always the essential quality to survival and to selective breeding. It was only when more intelligent beings (i.e. those able to manipulate and control by words) discovered that less intelligent but physically very strong people could do their bidding -- provided the bidding was done cleverly enough -- that civilization's total respect for physical strength began to wane.

The Human Animal

A quick glance at the animal kingdom (including humans) is sufficient to observe one overwhelmingly obvious conclusion: humans are notably lacking in physical strength as compared to animals. Consider, for example, the cat which routinely leaps from the floor to the counter top in a single bound -- a distance equal to roughly four times it standing height and about double its stretched out length. When is the last time you've seen a human jump equally gracefully to the counter top, despite it's height being only about 50-70% of the human's height.

Dogs, lions, elephants, et al, have all demonstrated astounding strength, quickness, stealthliness, and in some cases cooperation among a species. At the same time, domesticated breeding stock -- cattle, sheep, and pigs being the most notable examples -- have simply had their abilities bred out of them. What breeder, after all, wants a cow capable of defending itself against the potential slaughtering human?

The essential point, however, is not just some artistic admiration from afar of animals with prodigious physical capabilities. Rather, the essential question is: Why are humans so physically weak? Why are humans capable of such minimal physical feats -- even to the point of being born with an almost zero chance of survival without the aid of other members of their species. [While at the same time, the Giraffe's offspring is introduced to the world by a roughly three foot drop to the hard ground, where it must struggle to its feet and be ready to Run from the Lions postwith.]

Evolutionists might suggest that the development of the brain required less physical strength for survival. But evolution also fails utterly to explain why humans use less than 20% of their brains and less than 15% of their DNA. Why would such brain power and vast resources of DNA capabilities (which might include ESP and a whole host of other impressive abilities) be ever developed unless there was some survival reason? Whatever one chooses not to use, one loses. Why do humans have massive brains which they use so seldom and in such small amounts? And why does the physical prowess of humans compare so unfavorably with other animals? How long, for example, in an evolutionary scheme would it take for a brain-laden animal to lose the bulk of its physical attributes?

Consider the following scenario: One takes Homo erectus and crossbreeds its DNA with an advanced, truly intelligent species. The result is an extraordinary animal with massive brain power. But the original intelligent species, not wishing to have another species with which to compete, decides to use its scientific ability to cross breed in such a fashion so as to hardwire limitations on the brain power onto the new Homo sapiens. The end result is a short-circuited brain/DNA creature whose physical powers are intentionally diminished, and whose brain power is limited to less than a fifth of its ultimate potential. It's like having a computer with a 100 GB harddrive and 512 Mb of RAM, but where 80 GB and 435 Mb of RAM are hidden away in the computer and wholly unavailable to the average user.

The fact that this scenario has been recorded for posterity in Sumerian and other ancient histories is probably worth mentioning -- as is the role of Enki and Enlil and the other Anunnaki. Much of this is related in the story of Adam and Eve, Humans may have been created in the image of its creator(s), but the substance behind the image is largely Hollywood style smoke and mirrors.

How can humans use more of their brain -- or their DNA? The simple answer is just gaining access to all of the other portions. The hard part is the method of doing this.

One suggestion is the use of the ORME .

Can you imagine a human with the physical agility of a cat, the prescience of a dog, and the brute strength of a grizzly bear -- but without the death-dealing “doggie breath”? Perhaps instead of idolizing the cats, dogs and other deities, we should step up to the human potential plate and claim our genetic heritage.


* See the classic poem, "Women Who Sleep With the Dogs".


[1] “Mystery Tours”, Time Magazine, June 2003

[2] www.stephstclaire.com

[3] “Love Me, Love My Dog”, Time Magazine, November 2003.

[4] “Of Dogs and Men”, Time Magazine, June 16, 2003.

[5] “It's a Dog's Life”, Time Magazine, May 19, 2003.

[6] “The Mother of All Dogs”, Time Magazine, December 2, 2002.

[7] Journal American Veterinary Association, 99; 214 (9):1336-41 -- reported by www.stephstclaire.com

[8] “Animal Attraction”, Time Magazine, November 2003.

[9] Newsweek, March 26, 2001.


Egyptian Prehistory         Chronicles of Earth

Or forward to:

Rene Schwaller de Lubicz         600 B.C.E.         History 009



                                                                                      The Library of ialexandriah       

2003© Copyright Dan Sewell Ward, All Rights Reserved                     [Feedback]