P. T. S. D. -- Scene 3
Premiered -- 18 June 2010
Continuation from Scene 2 of P. T. S. D., a stage play
MIKE: What about Sam? Got anything hanging onto Sam?
SAM: (who had been getting worried while Mike talked to Jeff and Ted) Oh, God. I don't want to talk about this!
MIKE: Alright, soldier... look inside -- what's there?
SAM: Uh... I don't usually talk about this to anybody but the brothers, because nobody but them would understand.
MIKE: Okay. Are you willing to talk about it to me?
SAM: (long pause. sigh) If it's gonna help Wayne ...
MIKE: It is.
SAM: Okay... I'll tell you.
MIKE: It'll help you too.
SAM: Well, when I was a kid, we lived in an old white house. Didn't have much of nothin', but there was a bunch of us kids... and they used to come ridin' in on us, the Klu Klux Klan ...
SAM: ...used to come every now and then and it really scared my mama bad. Daddy, he jest got mad. So he shot one of 'em.
MIKE! No shit!
SAM: And he hadda go 'cause they killed him.
MIKE: Say that last sentence again? He had to go?
SAM: Yeah, he left.
SAM: My daddy left my mama.
MIKE: Because he killed a Klu Klux Klan man. Where'd your daddy go?
SAM: I don't know.
MIKE: You never saw him again? Don't even know if he's alive? What's your daddy's name?
MIKE: Fred? And what about the Klu Klux Klan man?
SAM: Well... he died.
MIKE: Your daddy did.
SAM: ...My daddy wouldn't let me; he took the gun out of my hand and shot the fucker.
MIKE: He done right, didn't he?
MIKE: What'd the others do? What'd the other two do then?
SAM: They... rode away. They wouldn't wait... how did it go? They were parked in a car, away from the house, behind some trees. When they walked up to the porch, with torches in their hand, they started yellin'... they were gonna burn our house down. They left us alone after my daddy ran. They didn't hurt my mama neither. Well, they didn't hurt her that way, anyway.
MIKE: What's this guy's name, Sam?
SAM: I don't know what his name is. I don't care to meet the bastard.
MIKE: Maybe, but want him to come out. Who is this Klu Klux Klan man? Come on out. What's your name? Answer up.
CYRUS: (appearing from behind SAM, reluctantly) Cyrus.
MIKE: Okay, you ignorant asshole, what happened?
CYRUS: Well hell, the black bastard shot me!
MIKE: What were you gonna do to his woman?
CYRUS: I wasn't gonna do a thing to her. ... They were.
MIKE: That's not what Sam said. Sam was watchin', he was a kid and -- almost shot you. His daddy took the gun. Tell the truth, Cyrus.
CYRUS: I was just gonna set the house on fire.
MIKE: Oh, just gonna set the house on fire. What if somebody did that to your house, Cyrus?
CYRUS: They wouldn't stand a chance.
MIKE: What does that mean?
CYRUS: I'm protected.
MIKE: By what?
CYRUS: By the Klan.
MIKE: What if the Klu Klux Klan was all at a picnic and some neighbors came in and set fire to your house? What would happen then?
CYRUS: We'd kill them.
MIKE: Would that be fair?
CYRUS: Well, as far as I'm concerned, there isn't any fair with them.
MIKE: Who judges, Cyrus? Who sets up these standards?
CYRUS: God does.
MIKE: Your ass.
MIKE: You still think so? Where you are now... do you still think so? You're about to meet God, Cyrus.
CYRUS: I'm in this nigger. He ain't in me.
MIKE: You're trapped. You were a prisoner for a long time. And you're about to meet God, Cyrus.
CYRUS: Yeah... well... I don't wanna meet him.
MIKE: You're about to go home to the light.
CYRUS: I don't want to ...
MIKE: And you get to take all your beliefs, all of your asshole beliefs, all your superiority shit and you're about to meet God. Do you want to change your mind now? Do you want to give up some of that stuff before you go?
CYRUS: I didn't do anything wrong. I never did set the house on fire, wasn't gonna handle that woman, I wouldn't want to touch a woman... a black woman. I didn't do anything wrong. And they shot me!!
MIKE: What if Sam thinks you were gonna.
CYRUS: He was just a kid.
MIKE: Why did his daddy shoot you? What did you threaten to do?
CYRUS: I was standing there. I had a torch in my hand, I suppose. What else could they think?
MIKE: Makes sense.
CYRUS: I wasn't really gonna do it.
MIKE: You just said you were a minute ago. You were gonna burn the house, you said.
CYRUS: I just wanted to scare them.
MIKE: Just wanted to scare them, 'cause they was niggers...
MIKE: You still feel the same way, Cyrus?
CYRUS: Well... I sort of felt sorry for his mama after a while...
MIKE: What did you threaten ...
CYRUS: ...she had a real hard life.
MIKE: What did you threaten to do that day.
CYRUS: I wasn't the one who spoke up. I was just the one who was standing in the front.
MIKE: So you got the shot.
CYRUS I got shot!
MIKE: What'd they say about his ma-ma?
CYRUS: Oh, they said they were gonna rough her up some, you know. But I think they were just, just talking, you know. They talk big... they all talk big.
MIKE: But they also kill niggers and burn their houses and rape their women. So how can they tell the difference? How could Sam and his daddy tell the difference when you guys showed up.
CYRUS: I don't suppose they could.
MIKE: I don't suppose, either. You say you felt sorry for his mama later on. What'd you do?
CYRUS: There wasn't much I could do then.
CYRUS: I tried to tell Sam to grow up and be a decent boy, not make the mistakes I did. But still, he's a nigger, you know. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, none of it does, I just...
MIKE: Okay, Cyrus. Right now, I want you to think back in your own memory banks. Recall a time, another lifetime ...
CYRUS: Is that possible?
MIKE: Yes, it's possible. Think back. What memories come?
MIKE: First thing that comes, Cyrus.
CYRUS: Plantation house.
MIKE: Yeah ? Where are you?
CYRUS: What the fuck!?
MIKE: I just asked where and that's what came out?
CYRUS: (laughs) I don't believe this!!
MIKE: Your mind's like a computer, Cyrus. Just tell me what the memories are.
CYRUS: Shit, I'm a nigger slave.
MIKE: Well, don't dat beat all!
CYRUS: (laughs) Oh!
MIKE: Sam, listen in on this; this is gonna be a good story. Go on, Cyrus, what happens next. (laughs) Listen to this, Sam. You may not hate this sucker so much after all. What happens to you, Cyrus? You're a nigger slave. What's your name ?
CYRUS: I don't know. I don't even know if I got one.
MIKE: But you're black.
CYRUS: Oh, well. We're all black... we're brothers.
MIKE: That's right.
CYRUS: Yeah, we're related. I don't know about the same...
MIKE: Same family?
MIKE: But you're all black brothers.
CYRUS: Sure looks that way.
MIKE: Feels different, doesn't it, Cyrus? What is it you hated so much when you were a black slave? Were you left with hate? What did you decide about being black?
CYRUS: They killed my... family.
MIKE: Who did?
CYRUS: The whites.
MIKE: Cyrus, the whites killed your family?
CYRUS: They took 'em away, and took me away. We were separated.
MIKE: Sounds like what goes around comes around, huh?
MIKE: Good. Cyrus, let that go; let that scene go and go back to another time. Another time that has to do with the same pattern, the same chain of events. Go back to another time, Cyrus; another lifetime that has to do with the same pattern. What's the first thing that comes, Cyrus? Any picture at all? Because that's not the first time ...
CYRUS: It's a red brick building ...
MIKE: Yeah ...
CYRUS: ...it's a public place ...
MIKE: Public place?
CYRUS: Yeah. It's an old brick building... nice. A sort of a white top on it.
MIKE: What is this place, this building?
CYRUS: I can't speak English then..
MIKE: What is the language that you speak? What would we call it in English?
CYRUS: But I know what the name of the place is.
MIKE: What is it?
CYRUS: It's that place where they signed the Declaration of Independence.
MIKE: Philadelphia. What language do you speak? Cyrus, what color is your skin?
CYRUS: I'm black.
MIKE: And you can't speak English, can you?
CYRUS: I can't speak at all.
MIKE: What happened? Why can't you speak?
CYRUS: Oh, they...
MIKE: Yeah. Yeah, they did. Say it.
CYRUS: (sigh) They took my tongue. They tore my tongue out !
MIKE: Yeah. And what are the feelings you have about that? Who was it who did that?
CYRUS: A white man.
MIKE: A white man. They tore your tongue out. What did you do? What did you do to cause that? What was it? Why were they punishing you? What did you do?
CYRUS: I was a woman.
MIKE: You were a woman, a black woman? Wow. And what did you do? What happened? Why did they take your tongue out? You knew something, didn't you?
CYRUS: Oh... I refused...
MIKE: Refused what? It's okay to say it now.
CYRUS: There was this white man, and I had a baby.
MIKE: You had a baby by the white man.
CYRUS. No. I brought him with me.
MIKE: From where? From your home?
CYRUS: It was a big... big... place.
MIKE: How'd you come, across the water?
MIKE: Yeah. And you brought your baby with you. What happened, Cyrus?
CYRUS: He almost didn't make it, my baby. Ya see, they told me, they told me that if I would sleep with the captain... that they wouldn't kill my baby. So I did... and we got to land. They saw me again and he wanted to... I don't know how you say that... he wanted me to... to... suck him.
CYRUS: And I wouldn't do it 'cause I remembered my husband and I couldn't do it. I jest couldn't do it.
MIKE: Did you sleep with the captain of the boat?
CYRUS: I did.
MIKE: To save your baby.
CYRUS: I did.
MIKE: But you wouldn't suck this white man.
MIKE: Because you remembered your husband. And what did they do?
CYRUS: They tore my tongue out.
MIKE: Because you wouldn't suck him. You'd do it to save your baby but not to save yourself.
CYRUS: I couldn't.
MIKE: No. Nothing would be worth that, would it?
CYRUS: (sob) I just couldn’t do it.
MIKE: How’d you feel about those white men who did that?
CYRUS: I was terribly, terribly afraid.
CYRUS: Terribly afraid, but they let me keep my baby ‘cause I... I woulda died without my baby.
CYRUS: There was no reason to go on. And I was still a slave and I could still pick cotton. So they kept me alive. And by baby lived, too.
MIKE: How’d you feel about the white people who made you do all that?
CYRUS: I thought they were devils. I thought they were devils from hell. And I felt sorry that my baby would have to grow up with them. I didn’t know if God was punishing me or rewarding me for having that baby... ‘cause I thought it would have been better if he had never been born. I couldn’t save ‘em.
MIKE: Couldn’t save him?
CYRUS: From them.
CYRUS: And I couldn’t... I couldn’t do anything to... to make it different.
MIKE: Do you think that we humans ever, ever understand God?
CYRUS: I thought I did... across the water. I thought I did. I thought I understood, I really did. And so did my sisters. But... when we came across the water... all of our gods were gone. We couldn’t understand how they would leave us, bring us to this place and (sigh)... We used to sing to them anyhow. We did. We sang a lot.
CYRUS: All of us... the black women, would get together and sing, sing to the gods. Some of us were from different tribes, but when we sang to our gods, somehow it was alike, even though we can't speak exactly the same, our eyes talked. We sang and sometimes we would think: it doesn't seem so lonely.
MIKE: God hears all of the prayers. God hears all of the songs, dear one. We can't begin to understand God's plan. Some people on earth suffer greatly. We can't begin to understand God's plan. Do you love God, lady?
CYRUS: I don't love the white man's God. I don't see how any of the white man's gods could let them do things like that.
MIKE: We can't understand God's plan.
CYRUS: I believe in my gods, and across the water, maybe they put some kind of curse on them... maybe they couldn't see .
MIKE: I don't think so.
CYRUS: I don't know.
MIKE: It's not for us to question God's plan.
CYRUS: I never did. I didn't have the time.
MIKE: (smiles) No.
CYRUS: But I could sing it. So I sang it all the time.
MIKE: Today, you will meet God, lady. Let it fade. Let it fade and know that you will meet God and God does love you. God does love you. Cyrus? Let the memory fade. Let the scene fade, Cyrus. Let the scene fade. ... Cyrus, how do you feel about niggers now?
CYRUS: (long pause) (sigh) I'm sorry.
MIKE: It's real different now, isn't it.
MIKE: What do you want to say to Sam?
CYRUS: Saying I'm sorry ain't gonna be enough.
MIKE: A whole different feeling in there. That you called yourself brother to Sam. Did you hear yourself, Cyrus?
CYRUS: Yeah, I did. (sniff) I feel like I should hide my face, but I don't have a face to hide.
MIKE: Cyrus, there is something better than I'm sorry. There is something better. Think about it with your deepest guts right now... what would you like to say to Sam?
CYRUS: (pause) (sigh) Well... brother... will you forgive me?
MIKE: Sammy, listen. Do you hear him? Did you watch what happened, Sam? Did you see his memories?
SAM: I saw 'em.
MIKE: His lives.
SAM: I saw 'em.
MIKE: We all have other lives, Sam. We all have other lives. It never makes sense with just one life. It never makes sense what happens to your mammy, your pappy and you. It never makes sense in just one life, Sam; you see that? Didn't make sense in Cyrus' life. What the hell was he doing, shooting niggers and burning their houses and raping their mothers? You see, through all the lifetimes, it starts to make sense. Sam, he's asking you to forgive him. He's asked you to forgive him, Sam. The ball's in your court, Sam.
SAM: Oh, oh man.
MIKE: Whole new light on it, isn't it, Sam? And this is a lot of work. But, baby, you're doing more good today than you have in the last year for these guys. You know what I'm saying?
SAM: Oh, shit.
MIKE: Keep going with it, babe; you're doing fine.
MIKE: Sam, he's asked you to forgive him.
SAM: (sigh) I never thought I'd ever say this.
SAM: But, for the sake of mama and, oh that poor woman! I'll tell you I hate your ugly face, but your soul is...
MIKE: Is there much difference between the color of your soul and the color of Cyrus' soul?
SAM: No. None.
MIKE: Is there much difference between your color and Wayne's color? Or Jeff, or Jim, or Ted?
SAM: We never did think there was. Wayne and I never thought there was.
MIKE: Love goes way deeper than the color of your skin.
SAM: Oh, yeah.
MIKE: Look and see.
SAM: Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
MIKE: Cyrus is a brother. Not this time, but another time. Cyrus was a black brother. I've been there, too, Sam.
SAM: We got some bad blacks too, you know? (sigh)
MIKE: Maybe God needs all kinds, Sam. You never thought much about God, either, did you?
SAM: My mama did. I didn't.
MIKE: Yeah. Maybe she knew something you didn't know.
MIKE: What do you want to say to Cyrus now?
SAM: Let's get the hell outta here. Let's go.
MIKE: Look around, all you guys. What do you see when you look around? Cyrus and Jeff and Jim, Sam, what do you see when you look around? Bernie, you too. Ted, Wayne, what do you see when you look around? Raise your eyes and look up, you guys. And the girls, too. Trang, you too. What do you see when you look around, guys?
WAYNE: Who do you want to talk to you? All of us?
MIKE: Anybody who sees it.
WAYNE: Seems like there's... black here. Like... starting right about there. (just below the eyes)
MIKE: Yeah. It's like you're sunk in the mud up to your nose?
WAYNE: Sort of... yeah. Yeah, just before your eyes.
MIKE: Look around, Wayne, and see if everybody's at least up to their eyes. At least, everybody has their eyes above the muck. Look and see.
TED: Oh... we have to lift up the baby.
MIKE: Do it. Whose baby is that?
WAYNE: We don't know.
MIKE: Alright. It doesn't matter, does it? Is there any difference in the color of your souls, you and that baby?
WAYNE: Oh... no.
MIKE: Is there any difference, the age of the soul, you and the baby?
MIKE: Just looks like a baby, doesn't it? Lift up that baby. Is everybody, at least their eyes, above the muck?
MIKE: Do you know what that muck is? It's all the hate, and the anger, and all the nigger stuff, and all that white trash stuff, and all that whore stuff, and all that Viet Cong stuff. Lift the Viet Cong up, too, guys. Ted, lift him up, too. Do you see it? That's the muck.
MIKE: It doesn't mean shit. Any difference between you and any of that mucky stuff. We all have the muck, you guys, but inside there's no difference. Cyrus and Sam saw that. So now, is everyone's eyes above the water?
MIKE: What do you see up there now? Look up. Everyone!
MIKE: Look up. Above the hate. Above the fear, above the flash backs. Above the horror. What do you see guys?
TED: A brilliant light.
WAYNE: Almost blinding, but it doesn't hurt.
Jim: Soft and warm.
MIKE: Do you see anybody there you know? Sam, do you see anybody there that you know... in the light?
SAM: My grandma.
MIKE: Jeff, do you see anybody you know?
JEFF: My mom.
MIKE: Surprise! Guys, it's 1988. You've been hanging out here for almost twenty years. You came into this gal, Loni, along with Wayne. Ted, do you see anybody you know?
TED: My grandparents are there. Both sets of grandparents.
MIKE: Cyrus, do you see anyone you know?
CYRUS: My sister.
MIKE: Is that a surprise?
CYRUS: Well... no. I figured if anyone would make it, she would. (laughs)
MIKE: And Trang. See anyone you know?
WAYNE: Looks like his mother and father and his sisters.
MIKE: They all were killed, weren't they?
WAYNE: Looks like it.
MIKE: Min Van Chou, what about you, dear child?
MIKE: Mao Ta? Lieutenant Li? Someone there for you, too?
MAO TA: The master. My master.
MIKE: They're there, aren't they? Bernie, all you guys. Are you ready to go?
MIKE: Everybody listen up! The light is available for everyone. All the spirits of our dead comrades, our friends, even strangers who have found their way into another person's physical body. Everyone within the sound of my voice, I'm talking to you. The light is loving and forgiving and is welcoming all of you home this day. There's always some one you love there to meet you; just look up, into the light, and know that they are there. See them in the light. See them reach out their hands to take yours. Reach out your hands, guys and gals, and take the hands of the ones who've come for you. All of you, everyone, reach out. Tell me when you've taken their hands. All of you, look around. There's no differences now. There's no fear, there's no guilt, there's no hate. Just love... enveloping you and penetrating you. Nobody is alone. Nobody goes alone because nobody is ever alone. Did they take your hands?
MIKE: How does it feel, Bernie?
MIKE: Cyrus, how about you?
SAM: (laughs) Oh, wow!!
SAM: (laughs) Feels great.
MIKE: You standing close to Cyrus, Sam?
MIKE: Little different now, isn't it?
MIKE: Remember the hate you felt?
SAM: There isn't any black or white.
MIKE: Nope. That hate stuff is in the muck, right?
SAM: Deep in the muck. Outta sight!
MIKE: It's all crap.
MIKE: Are there others ready to go into the light?
WAYNE: Lots. Guys I've never seen before. Gals too.
MIKE: Always happens this way. Bring down the light, let lost souls see it, know it for what it is, and lots of others go into the light. Nobody needs an invitation... not even an introduction.
WAYNE: That's great!
MIKE: Sure is. It's the best! So alright, you guys. Up and out of the muck. Lift up and head home. Let ‘em take you home to the light.
MIKE: Wayne, watch 'em go. I want to talk to you before you leave. But help these guys up and out, these guys that you carried. And all the others as well. Wayne, you still think you didn't do anything for these guys?
MIKE: You get it, Wayne? You're helping your buddies home to heaven. And they're taking others with them.
WAYNE: (laughs) Far out!
MIKE: Does that make up for some of the other stuff?
WAYNE: What was it all for?
MIKE: You ask God, when you meet him. But Wayne, don't go yet. I want to talk to you some more.
MIKE: Check out what you've just done. Far out it may be, but you just helped your buddies into heaven, whatever that means for each of 'em. Wayne, you carried these guys with you. They could have been lost without you, I mean lost! Look and see what you did. Does that make up for anything bad you might have done?
WAYNE: Oh, yeah.
MIKE: You bet it does. Wayne, tell me, are they gone?
MIKE: The baby?
MIKE: Trang? Min Van Chou? Ted didn't even know she was there. Wayne, are you ready to go?
MIKE: You knew Loni, didn't you, Wayne?
MIKE: You're the only one who did. Where did you see her, Wayne? Where did you meet her? Because she flashed on it a while ago. Tell me where you met her.
WAYNE: Well, I saw her walking by.
LONI: A good one.
MIKE: (laughs) What was so special about her?
MIKE: In the hospital?
MIKE: How'd you find her?
WAYNE: Well, she was... we thought we were in love. It was one of those nurse/patient things. I should have told her to get the hell out of my life, but I... needed her. And she tried to get me out of her life, but I kept coming back and she couldn't say no. So she'd put up with me for a while, and then I'd flip out. She'd take me to the doctors, I'd stay, I'd come out, I'd make promises. She didn't have the heart... to say no. Finally... finally, after what seemed an awful long time, she just couldn't take it anymore.
MIKE: What'd she do?
WAYNE: She was afraid for her son. And I was afraid, too, because I was gettin' real radical. So I went back into the hospital and... we decided that it'd be best if she went her way and I went mine. I thought I'd die.
MIKE: How long after that did you die?
WAYNE: Couple years. I had a cabin up in the woods, where I was happy, for the most part. I was taking lithium, doing alright. Had a couple dogs and got into making stuff, beads and leather and... selling it. Just enough to keep me going. Didn't need much. But I just couldn't get rid of those memories. So I just... I just got real drunk and... went to sleep.
MIKE: Intentionally? Did you intend to finish it?
WAYNE: Don't think so. I've never been into suicide, even though I can really understand how bad memories, like the kind I was having, could drive you to it. Seems like there'd be no other escape, no matter what. No way to find rest, without ending it for sure.
MIKE: But you didn't actually suicide?
WAYNE: I don't think so. Would it make a difference? I mean, could I still go into the light if I had killed myself?
MIKE: Suicide is never the way out, Wayne. But God is awfully forgiving. God loves you no matter what. Besides, you wouldn't be alone. Did you know that the number of suicides by Vietnam vets is greater than the number of Americans killed during the Vietnam war?
WAYNE: No shit? More suicides than battle casualties?
MIKE: By some estimates, as many as two or three times the number of combat casualties. The statistics are grotesque. But the problems you brought back with you. The death and destruction you've carried back ... it's just been too much for the returning vets. And the help they've got at home has just not been enough.
WAYNE: God, that's awful! I really can't find it in my heart to blame any vet for what they might do. I just hope God loves them as much as I do.
MIKE: God does, Wayne. No doubt. (pause) Wayne, how'd you find Loni again?
WAYNE: Well... it was through... a girlfriend!
MIKE: The truth will set you free.
WAYNE: Oh my God! I was talking... to a girlfriend ...
MIKE: Before you died.
WAYNE: Yes. And I was talking to her about Loni... she promised me she'd talk to Loni... sort of let her know I didn't do it against her... that my leaving her... I had to, it had to be done.
MIKE: I understand.
WAYNE: Because I might have hurt her. I used to tell her that. I was afraid for her, for... everyone. And I could really hurt her and I might do that and... I'd rather be dead than do that.
MIKE: How'd you find Loni, after you died?
WAYNE: I talked to her girlfriend. And her girlfriend talked to her. Her girlfriend talked to her about me, about seeing me, about talking to me.
MIKE: But you were already dead. At that time, is that right?
WAYNE: No. I talked to her before. Before I went home that night. Before I died. Before I... killed myself?
MIKE: And the girlfriend went and talked to Loni?
WAYNE: Yeah, I saw her go on the bus. And I went along.
MIKE: So how'd you find Loni? Weird, isn't it, Wayne?
WAYNE: I don't know. I... well I guess the logic of it is, if those guys can be in me, then I guess I went into her friend. And she took me along in the bus.
MIKE: But how did you find her friend? She was on the bus, you saw her go. Right?
WAYNE: I don't know.
MIKE: Think about it. Think back. When you od'd... can you remember coming out of your body?
WAYNE: Yeah, I think so. And the girlfriend didn't live very far away, because she was by the college. There, up close to the mountains. So I went... I don't know how I got there... I just went there. I thought it... and I went. I went to where she was. She was... sleeping.
MIKE: Loni was sleeping? Or the friend?
WAYNE: The friend. Anyway, I just sort of laid down. it felt like I laid down with her. And then it was... okay.
MIKE: Then when did you see Loni? Not too long?
WAYNE: No, it was real soon.
MIKE: So you went with her to see Loni?
WAYNE: I did! Oh, I did! I did. Oh!
MIKE: It's called love, Wayne. It's called love. it's okay, go on; what happened? Loni, keep watching.
WAYNE: Loni's friend came. She was already married and she came to Loni... She went to Loni's place 'cause she was worried, the friend was worried. She'd had an experience in college she couldn't tell anybody else about. She was real worried and Loni was the only one she could talk to about it. And Loni was real, at the time she was a real straight chick. (laughs)
WAYNE: (laughs) Oh ! (sigh) God knows why she... why she was so straight. But she was a real Bible-thumper in those days.
WAYNE: But this lady, she was really having a hell of a time. She had six kids and her old man was an alcoholic... real bad. And the mother, this lady, was trying to... geez, I can see her face as clear as day... she was trying to make it through college before the old man kicked the bucket, so she could support her kids.
WAYNE: She had been without love for a very long time. And while she was at college, she formed a... a relationship with a, a girl... and they had a lesbian experience. Ana the woman, Loni's friend, was so shook up about it that she thought she was gonna lose her mind. And she was afraid to tell anybody about it... she was afraid to repeat it. She was scared that her kids were gonna starve to death because the man, the husband she was with, was arthritic. Arthritic, plus an alcoholic, and there was no way... he was gonna have to quit his job... he couldn't handle the tools anymore that he made his living by. So she was really scared and went to Loni. And Loni was shocked, but she heard her out... you know, she really listened to her.
MIKE: Yes. Yes.
WAYNE: Loni rocked her and said... Christ! I haven’t even thought about that in years... Loni told her friend she was no more a lesbian than she was, that she'd just been without love for so long and just needed somebody to hold her. And Loni did. They cried and cried. Then she told Loni later that day about I had talked to her about.
MIKE: It helped her to talk about it, didn't it, Wayne?
WAYNE: Oh yeah. It really did.
MIKE: What happened next, Wayne?
WAYNE: Well, while they were holding each other and rocking back and forth, I guess I just sort slipped right in there.
MIKE: (laughs) You sly little devil. Just sort of slipped in there, huh?
WAYNE: How did I do that?
MIKE: You tell me.
WAYNE: I mean, how can I? What lets me? Does she let me?
MIKE: Not directly, Wayne. Everybody has an aura, a sort of shield which prevents sly little devils like yourself from... "just sort of slipping in there." But that shield can be weakened by any number of things. Drugs, alcohol, trauma, stress, fear, even excessive compassion can open up your shield and make you ripe for someone to enter. In your case, you were under immense fear and trauma at seeing your buddies killed. You had no protection at all and they flocked in.
WAYNE: They had no place else to go.
MIKE: Oh, they could have gone to the light right then. But they were killed suddenly and hardly knew they were dead. And they wanted to help you. So they stayed around. In Bernie's case, it was the compassion and shock of the boy who drug him from the water that opened up the way. Getting drunk or stoned on drugs is another way. Becoming attached to another person so much that even “death do ye not part” will do it also. In Loni's case, her shields were down as she comforted her friend, and you...
WAYNE: ...sort of slipped right in.
MIKE: Exactly. Where did you enter? Do you remember?
WAYNE: Her heart. Maybe through her ears... they had their heads together. Maybe, yeah, there... probably.
MIKE: And do you remember how?
WAYNE: I don't know. I thought it. And I was just, all of a sudden, it just went poof!
MIKE: And you were there with Loni?
MIKE: In this case, I think it's called love. You wanted to be with her, although perhaps a bit too much.
WAYNE: Well, she loved me, too. She was just scared.
MIKE: Sure. Did she know you were coming in?
MIKE: Can you talk to her inside the way the guys talk to each other?
MIKE: What's that feeling right now?
MIKE: What is the pain, Wayne? Tell me what it is.
WAYNE: I was hit.
WAYNE: I was hit in the temple. I shoulda died there on the trail.
MIKE: But you didn't; you had work to do.
WAYNE: It hit the side of my helmet, deflected off. But it still hurts. I guess it hurts her, too.
MIKE: That's right. When you go, will you take that pain with you?
WAYNE: Oh, yeah! I wouldn't want to hurt this lady. No way.
MIKE: Wayne, the work that you began that day is finished this day. You got your guys out of Vietnam. You've just seen them go home to the light. Did you see that?
WAYNE: Oh yeah.
MIKE: You got the job done, Wayne. Despite anything that happened over there, the flashbacks, the drugs, the killing, the way you incriminated yourself and judged yourself and went crazy... man, all that stuff is shed. You got the job done; you got your guys out of Vietnam. Do you know what I'm saying? And you just helped 'em into heaven. You may have helped a lot of others as well. You've done well.
WAYNE: She always said that. She always tried to tell me.
MIKE: Do you believe her now?
MIKE: Yeah. Wayne, think back in your memories, just like Cyrus did. have you ever been with this one before in other lifetimes? Flash on it.
WAYNE: Other lifetimes?
MIKE: Yeah. Have you ever been, Wayne, with this woman, Loni , in other lifetimes? Is it possible?
WAYNE: (pause) I was her child!. I was one of her kids!
MIKE: Really? It was something like that this time, wasn't it?
WAYNE: Yeah! Just exactly!
MIKE: Now do you wonder why you recognized her when she walked by in the hospital? And why she wasn't afraid of you? No surprise now, is it? What you needed most was right there. Was there another time? Let that one fade and go to another... was there another time?
WAYNE: Just that once.
MIKE: Is there anything you would like to say to Loni, before you go, Wayne?
WAYNE: Well, I used to call her Sunshine; she used to call be Hunky. (laughs)
MIKE: You can say it right to her. Directly, Wayne. Say it as though you're standing in front of her talking to her right now.
WAYNE: How d'you doing, Sunshine?
MIKE: You can talk back and forth, Loni. You can talk to him and he can talk to you.
LONI: (sniff) Well, Hunky, when I left you at that hospital, I felt like I was abandoning my son... and I had a son. I just couldn't take the junk (sniff), I know that. I always knew that. But I hadda have you. (pause) I know ... (sniff) we could make great snowmen. (sob) Danny remembers and he was only two years old, Wayne. He still remembers those snowmen you built him. (sob) I know you didn't mean... to be that way. It wasn't your fault.
WAYNE: It wasn't yours either. Nope, just couldn't stay away from you. (pause) Well, Sunshine... I gotta go. It's only one click to heaven... and it's time.
MIKE: Wayne, before you go... just one more thing. Is there anybody else inside? If there is, we'll work on it another time. but Wayne, look around. I need your eyes, buddy. Look around, real clear, all the way down to her feet, all the way up through her legs and through her pelvis and her abdomen and her chest. Through her arms and back, all across her back, up through her head. Is there anything else, anyone else?
WAYNE: Nope. Nothing.
MIKE: You're sure?
WAYNE: Naw, she's clean. I guess today she finally gets me completely out of her system!
MIKE: Bad joke, Wayne.
WAYNE: Guess it's time for me to go.
MIKE: You're right about that. You did good work today ... you deserve a rest. Time for you to go.
WAYNE: Is she gonna be okay?
MIKE: She's a tough lady, Wayne. She is one tough lady and she's got lots of friends to help her.
WAYNE: Well then I'll go.
MIKE: Look around then, Wayne. Look around. Anybody there for you?
WAYNE: Oh shit!
MIKE: Who is it?
WAYNE: The guys are back ... and looking good.
MIKE: You thought they took off, didn't you?
WAYNE: I did. I really did.
MIKE: You guys have been together a long time and gone through a lot. They're not about to leave you. Reach out and take their hands.
MIKE: You got their hands?
WAYNE: (sobbing) Oh yes; man, oh yes!!
MIKE: Then beat it!
JIM: Let's go.
TED: Up the yellow brick road!
SAM: We're on our way now!
TED: You're gonna love it!
LONI: Bye, Wayne... bye you guys.
WAYNE: Bye, Sunshine!
MIKE: (laughs) Let him go, Loni. Let him go. With all your heart, let him go.
LONI: Oh! (sigh) (sniff)
MIKE: We're not quite through. Tell me what you see there.
LONI: Dear God. They're okay.
MIKE: Good. Now let's seal it up. There's some meditation to do and we're finished here. Imagine right now, deep within your center... things are kind of a shambles right now, aren't they?
LONI: (sigh) Oh, there's a little room, a little vacancy.
MIKE: But a little easier to breathe?
MIKE: Well, we're going to fill up that vacancy... but this time with pure love. So close your eyes, Sunshine and imagine deep within your center a brilliant point of light.
LONI: Oh, yes!
MIKE: When you find it, when you see it, know that that light is the spark of God within you. It is your connection to source. It is the home that is never left. It is part of that Light that you just saw, that has never left you. You have truly never left home. Imagine that light glowing, expanding, filling upward and downward, down through your legs, all the way to the tips of your toes, up through your abdomen and chest, all the way across your shoulders and down your arms, all the way into your fingers. And up through your neck and filling your head with a warm, glowing, loving light. This is your body, Loni. Nothing else, no one else, has the right to inhabit this body but you. Out of your compassion and love and caring and openness, perhaps you have allowed others in. It doesn't serve you and it doesn't serve them. Imagine this light now expanding outward around your body, a wonderful shell, a bubble of light, protective, safe, loving. Arms length on either side and in front of you and behind you. Far as you can reach, over your head and beneath your feet. And imagine, sparkling through this bubble of light, is an emerald green, the color of healing energies. Let that healing go to every cell of your body. Every cell contains its own intelligence, has it's own knowledge, and will use that healing energy as is appropriate. Imagine, also, sparkling through this bubble of light, bits of pink, the color of love. You've given love to so many for so long. The abundance of love is yours also. It is nourishing and nurturing, uplifting. It is yours in full and total abundance. Know that the healing that has occurred today could only be done through you, as you were the one who harbored, carried, and in fact, nurtured these souls. The healing could only have been done through you today. And, like a spiritual surgery as these have been removed, it needs a spiritual dressing. This imagery of the light, the spark within you, expanding to fill your body, expanding outward to a shell around you, sparkling through with the green and pink, is the spiritual dressing. And it is this spiritual dressing which will prevent any others from coming in -- do you understand what I mean?
MIKE: From this moment forward and for all eternity, you will know when others attempt to enter that you will be able to say no. The healing is real, deep and lasting. You've done a great deal of work today; so be good to yourself. Be good to yourself tonight; surround yourself with love. No drugs, no alcohol, but instead surround yourself with love. And know that this shell, this bubble of light around you is never a barrier to the experience of love as others love you. It is never a barrier to genuine love. (pause) The healing is done, the work is complete. When you are ready, take full and total and complete control of your body. Contact every cell of your body, every particle of your being, every bit of your consciousness and be, once again, in full and complete control. Flow back into your conscious awareness, back to your regular state of consciousness. There's no hurry. When you're ready, just open your eyes.
LONI: (opening her eyes) Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you.
MIKE: You deserved it.
LONI: I think I need just one more thing.
LONI: I need a hug.
MIKE: (smiling) Sure. I’m really into hugs.
MIKE: You okay?
LONI: I’m fine. But I’m not so sure about the others.
MIKE: What others?
LONI: (turning to the audience) Them.
MIKE: (also turning to the audience) Hey, no problem. We’ll just give them some hugs.
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